As I was driving to see Mom on Saturday, I realized how much I didn’t want to go this week. Friday evening, as I pulled into my driveway, a man was up near my fence gate and garage door. He started running as I turned into my driveway from the dark alley. My first thought was not to be afraid, which in hindsight wasn’t too bright. I rolled down my window and started yelling “Who are you, why are you here, stop” Then reason began to return and I rolled the window up and thought was he trying to break into my house, what should I do now? The neighbor across the alley is a retired Army Major who fought in the Vietnam War. I called him and asked if he thought I should call the police. He’s an awesome neighbor and one time when I locked myself out of my house, he helped me break in. That is a story for another time. He said to call the police. I called and the police in my city are kind and quick and thorough. They said wait in my car and a hero would be by shortly to go into the house first and make sure it was safe. Now, I realize I should probably be nervous, my fence gate doesn’t lock and because we have had lots of rain lately, the door into the back yard doesn’t lock correctly. Ah the treasures of home ownership. My knight drove up and quickly and methodically went through my back yard and house and deemed it safe. I’m from Texas so of course I have protection in the house but I don’t have concealed carry but that firearm was on my nightstand all night as I prayed I would never have to use it. In the morning I was supposed to go to my support group for family of those with FTD but now I had to go to Home Depot and determine how best to make my domicile safer. I found a padlock for the fence gate, a relatively simple fix to make me feel safer. I also found a chain lock for the french doors leading to back yard. Of course my cheap drill wasn’t charged and I had to wait for it to charge and then drill pilot holes and then the screws. I’m getting better with the drill but still the little muscles in my arms are not what is needed to use this cheap drill. But I did it and the 2 new locks are working and I feel safe once again. When we go through trauma, it is good to pray for the spirit of trauma to go and I did that because I don’t want to feel scared in my own home. Now that I’ve missed my support group, I decide I should go see Mom. Her phone isn’t working so I know she forgot how to charge it again. It was another visit of her wanting to go to my house and not understanding why I wouldn’t take her. Last week she didn’t like the french fries so this week she said “I don’t want to go to fish, the clicks weren’t good” Yes, I am proficient at FTD language and knew what she meant. We went to Wendy’s. She loved there fries but hated the hamburger. I was too tired to care. I got her a frosty and she did like that. Then we went back and when I left she tried to get into my car and the staff had to help get her back inside the home. Some days it is harder than others to honor my mom and today was one of those. I’ll see her again Wednesday and hopefully by then I will be mentally, physically and spiritually ready.