Saturdays with Mom

Having a vacation day from work with nothing important pending is truly a blessing.  That’s how this Friday began but as usual, things don’t always turn out as expected.  The unexpected can be an adventure and is usually a lesson is being flexible with God’s plan.

I was in the checkout line at Walmart when my phone rang.  I usually don’t answer numbers that I don’t know but decided that I would answer this one.  “Hello” I said.  “This is the Carrollton Police Department, are you Deborah Petersen?”  It is truly amazing how many thoughts can race through your brain at a moment like this.  Did I not pay a ticket, no I haven’t had a ticket in 10 years. Did my house burn down among many other thoughts.  Next they said, “Is Evelyn Toth with you”  (that is my mom who has severe Frontal Lobe Dementia)  My mom has a cell phone that I pay for her and she keeps a piece of paper with my name and number on it and she uses it…often.  Some days she calls me 10 times and we have 10 minute or more conversations that consist of the same 3 sentences over and over.  Her words are becoming less logical and she might say Are you now lighting?  Are we getting bricks?.  Well, she has now reached a new level of brain malfunction and she called random numbers and reached the front office of an elementary school in Plano Texas.  Well, they were so concerned about how this woman was speaking that they called the police and from there the police tracked that her address is mine, tracked my phone number and there we have it.  It really is precious that they cared enough to try and get help for someone they didn’t even know and these are the regular folks in the world that deserve to be called hero. So, now I let them know that she is safe in a memory care home in Dallas and guess what… they now have to go by and do a welfare check on her.  So, I hurry home with my purchases, put them away and rush to the home.  The police officer’s are kind and understanding but let me know that is might be time to take the phone.  I agree and now I’m left feeling sad that she just lost another precious ability and happy that I don’t have to field 10 calls a day.  Happy that I now have more money in my budget and sad that I think she will begin to forget me now too.  There is a phone at the house, so I can still call and speak to her but it won’t be the same.  I decided since I was there we should go to Whataburger and she really enjoyed it.  She noticed her phone was missing from her room but didn’t make a fuss about it.  On the way back from Whataburger I said “Jesus is so good and loves you Mom” She exclaimed oh yes Jesus and raised her arms in praise.  These are the moments I live for, when she has a moment of clarity and remembers something she had previously forgotten.  This journey takes me down different paths each week.  Paths I don’t want to take but God has different plans and I’ve noticed through my life that his paths tend to have better results if I just hold on to His hope.

No work Friday

Wow, I have the day off today and when I woke up, I was truly happy.  There was a joy deep inside as I stretched to welcome the day.  Happy to be alive, happy to be loved by Jesus.  Happy.  I know it is how I should welcome each day, unfortunately life has a way of happening and not always how we wish it would.  I want to wake up with this joy everyday but for today I’m going to bask in this feeling and enjoy everything.

When the joy is in my heart, it is amazing how much more I accomplish through the day.  I started with a list of about 30 items, important tasks that needed to be done.  Ok, not exactly really important tasks but things I wanted to get done.  I finished about 27 of them and so tomorrow I will finish the last 3.  The happiness stayed with me through house cleaning, grocery shopping, browsing social media and even the call from my mom in which I had no idea what she was saying.  An added beautiful gift from the Lord today, Mom only called 2 times today instead of 10.  Yes, it was a gift and if you have ever had to walk through frontal lobe dementia with someone, you definitely understand just how much of a gift it was.

The day is coming to an end, but the joy inside of me is continuing.  I am so in awe of just how gracious God is.  He truly knows what we need and when we think we have nothing left, a day like today happens and He renews my strength.  We are created to give, to care for others, but through the fall, we want to be selfish and have what we want when we want it.  The feelings of giving are truly more satisfying but God knows when we need a day of His joy raining down on us and infusing each cell with His love.  He lovingly loves us so that we can go on another day and give as Jesus gave.

I am more blessed than I deserve and this joy has captivated my heart today.